Man 1: You want me to open the doors?
Man 1: Here. The keys. Take them.
Man 2: Why you talking?
Man 1: No! No, no, no...
Man: Gambling destroyed my life.
Me, my family, everything I loved.
It was like a robbery, only I was the thief.
It's amazing the stories you tell yourself to justify it.
The lies that lead you to just one more hand, one more spin,
one more roll of the dice.
This is our deal, okay? Marie, no.
You guys are not lifting a finger. I mean it.
Yeah, we're bringing everything. 80... This is not up for debate, okay?
Great.
Sweetie, don't worry. We're not gonna say one word about the bills.
We just wanna bring everyone up to speed.
All right, I'll see you soon. Bye.
So...
Tonight's the night. No turning back.
Well...
Okay. Let's do this.
Okay. So first, I assign point values.
Correlate to the effect of removal.
You're gonna split the eights? Skyler, please.
Now, the mathematical principle known as the Kelly criterion,
upon which I devised my own strategy...
Not dissimilar to the mit system...
Walt, you're not teaching them.
You wanted me to be thorough. Play. You're taking too long.
You don't think it behooves me to be able to explain any of this?
It behooves you to be a pro, that's all. That's the fiction. So chop-chop.
Don't "chop-chop" me. Walt.
Now, we both know that the first decision
is whether or not to split or to surrender.
On eights. Split them.
Good on both.
Next decision is whether to double down or not.
Which you should be doing. On an 11, yes. Double.
Okay, this hand over here, we have a soft 18.
The final decision is whether or not to hit or to stand. Hit it.
Becomes a hard 15. Dealer has a nine.
I see that. Hm.
Hit it. Oh.
Okay, let's see what I got.
And 21.
Damn. Yup.
Okay, the key thing to remember here is that it's not about any one hand.
The key is the number of hands per hour.
Mm. Let's go again.
Zero, minus one, 0.6.
Okay.
Walt. It's not as if I don't know how to play.
I certainly more than understand how to count cards.
Let's just keep going.
No, you know what? I'm in recovery, remember?
I shouldn't even be playing.
And that is the fiction that we should be sticking to.
You know what?
You're right. Yeah. Wow.
Okay. Um... we're not leaving anything to chance.
All right. Let's get started. Got a lot of, uh...
Walt. We got a lot of ground to cover. What is this?
We have to get our story straight. We've gotta be on the same page.
A script? Bullet points.
Bullet points? We got a novella.
This is smart. You really wanna try to sell a DEA agent
some full-of—holes story about how we suddenly
have enough money to buy a car wash?
Am I supposed to memorize this? We need to practise.
We need to be word-perfect. Within reason.
We need this story to be solid
and sympathetic and, most of all, completely believable.
The story that you already told Marie.
You think that she hasn't told Hank? Ha.
Come on, this is Marie we're talking about here.
No, she hasn't. Heh.
She hasn't.
Hank thinks his insurance is paying for everything.
Marie's not telling him we are paying his therapy bills.
And neither are we. And why is that again?
Really? If we have the gambling story...
Did you take money, Walt? You remember Gretchen and Elliot?
I seem to recall that you'd rather sell drugs than take help.
Fine. Marie will tell Hank in her own time.
And at least we'll have laid the groundwork.
And coming clean with Hank and juni...
Appearing to come clean will be the best thing for everyone.
We talked about this.
Okay? We agreed about this. Yes, we did. It's just...
What?
Never mind. Just...
Okay. So I really think we should tag team the narrative, okay?
We'll each be responsible for certain portions of the story and then we can, uh...
We can hand off so we don't leave anything out, and it'll seem natural.
Okay. So I'm gonna launch with the exciting news
that we are buying a car wash.
Yay.
The next logical question Hank will probably ask is:
"Where are you getting the money?" To which I'll say:
We wanna tell you the whole story. It's a doozy,
so hold onto your hats.
Do you like that?
Sure.
It accomplishes two things. It keeps it light while letting them know
to expect something big. Uh—huh.
Yeah. No. It's a doozy.
Okay. Anyway, that's where you will take over, starting with your diagnosis.
Pages one and two. Okay. And it's...
It's pretty much gonna run parallel to the truth, which makes it easier.
But just make sure to really hit the cancer.
Really touch on the fear and despair.
It's good to remind them and to get their sympathy.
We want them to understand why you could do something so stupid.
Now, after that, per pages three and four, after you say:
"Gambling became an addiction and I just couldn't control it."
Do you see that? Yes.
In the middle. Okay.
I put in that line about robbery, from the ga meeting. That was good.
So next, I'll chime in about how it affected our marriage,
starting with the confusion, the deceit, why we couldn't tell anyone...
I'm terribly, terribly ashamed of my actions.
Yeah. Two "terribly" s?
It's to show contrition. Well, I just wouldn't use that word.
I would never say the word "terribly."
Phrase it however you want. Okay? You're jumping ahead. Now...
And why——? And why am I so ashamed?
Do I really need to answer that?
I was, and am, providing for our family.
Let's just pick up where we left off. I'm weak, I'm out of control.
This makes me look like crap.
This has to be a warts-and-all story.
That's how we'll sell it. We both look bad.
Oh... how do you look bad exactly?
Where is the "I slept with my boss" bullet point?
I can't seem to find that anywhere.
For a fired schoolteacher who cooks crystal meth,
I'd say you're coming out pretty much ahead.
I don't like it. I don't want junior thinking less of me.
At least you won at gambling. I'm the bitch mom who wouldn't cut you slack.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I put you through all of this.
How's that sound? Hm?
Here.
Two "sorry" s.
I believe we were on page five.
So after you say how very sorry you are, in your own words, of course,
we're almost to the end.
And then I say how proud I am of you for joining a 12-step programme.
And this is where I think we should enact how we're feeling, you know?
Just a suggestion. You might look down at the floor with remorse.
Hm?
What? You don't have to mean it.
You just stare down at your feet, Walt, okay?
Then I'm gonna...
I was thinking of taking Marie's hand and saying something emotional like:
It's such a relief to tell you.
We're glad we have a strong family to help us.
That we can all support each other. And then maybe I'll tear up a little.
I don't know. We'll just have to see what happens in the moment.
You're gonna cry on cue?
I said, I don't know. Maybe. When you dab your eyes,
you gonna do it with your right hand or your left?
One tear? Two tears? How many? This has to be convincing.
Especially to Hank. I'm doing the best I can here, Walt.
And yes, I'm thorough.
Maybe lying doesn't come as easily to me as it does to you.
Hey. Marie: Guys! Come on in! Hi!
Good to see you! Hey.
Hey. Hank: Hey, you little punk! Hey.
Great to see you. How you doing?
Aw, look at my little Princess. She's getting big, huh?
Walt: Yeah. And heavy too. Oh, is that actual food I'm smelling?
I might get an honest-to-god meal here?
You look good. Thank you, sweetheart.
Your aunt Marie, she's cute, but she could burn water. Ha, ha, ha.
You are so hilarious. Show the boys your rock collection.
We're gonna get organised. It'll be 20 minutes.
You have a rock collection? It's a mineral collection.
Just something I've... You wanna see it?
Sure. All right. Let's go see it.
Ooh, hey, let me... Hank: Hey, no. I... I got it.
Come on, guys. It's down the hall here.
Hank: Now, that one there, that's rhodonite. Okay? It's manganese inosilicate.
Walt Jr.: Cool. What makes it be all pink like that?
Well, that's the manganese part. Okay? It oxidizes, you know, like rust.
Walt: Manganese can have an oxidation state
of between minus-three and plus-seven,
which takes it through a range of colours. Purple, green, blue.
But its most stable state is plus-two, which is usually pale pink.
So...
Exactly. Whatever the hell he said. Heh, heh. Anyway, you, uh, get the idea.
Walt: Yeah, it's interesting. Interesting stuff, that. Really.
Oh, hey. Uh...
Yeah, give me that.
Give me that file, will you? You gotta check this out.
I've been working on something here. I'm doing a little consulting.
You know, weighing in on a case for a.P.D.
Put that in for me. Put that in over there.
Hank, what is this? It's not a dead body...
Oh, no, no, no. Nothing like that. No.
Seriously, you guys you gotta check this out.
This is good. Ready? Let me get it going here.
Look at this guy.
Gale: J“ standing there alone j“
look at... heh.
J“ all systems are go j“
j“ are you sure? Control is not convinced j“
j“ but the computer has the evidence j“
j“ no need to abort j“
J“ the countdown starts j“
Hank: Oh, man. You can't make this stuff up.
Walt Jr.: Who is this?
Hank: That, my friends, is Albuquerque's public enemy number one.
J“ calling, calling home j“j“
Skyler: It's such a relief to finally tell you.
We're just so glad that we have a strong family to help us through this.
That we can all support each other.
Jesus. I don't even know where to... holy shit.
Yeah.
Walter h. White.
Man of hidden talents.
Dad, you're such a stud. How much did you win exactly?
Dad? I don't think I have exact figures.
It's enough to... after taxes, of course, to buy the car wash.
Maybe even pay for
a couple of halfway reasonable college educations.
Damn, dad, why'd you quit?
I can totally get a car for my birthday now, right?
Son, I'm terribly, terribly ashamed of my actions.
Would you excuse me, please? I need to use the restroom.
Wow. Heh, heh.
Hank: Walt?
Whoa, whoa. Hey.
Oh. Sorry.
Thought you might have fallen in. No, no, I just, uh...
Hey, man, that was some big stuff back there.
No, we wanted to be thorough, so...
Yeah, well, it was quite a tale. Couldn't have been easy to, you know,
talk about.
You know, Walt, if you...
You can always bend my ear, right? I mean, if you ever need to talk,
or just blow off some steam, I'm here.
Not going anywhere, so...
Thanks, Hank.
Same goes for me, you know. If you ever wanna bounce anything off me,
I don't know, casework, anything, really.
Sometimes just talking something through,
you know, really can make a difference.
Hank: We're definitely not talking bathtub crank here. This is a big-ass operation.
You know, hundreds of pounds a week. Maybe more.
So, um, who is this person? What do you know about him?
Other than he's deader than a Texas salad bar
and has a decent set of pipes?
Your guy? I'd say he's my guy.
There's this mystery man I've been chasing for the better part of a year.
Cooks the purest meth that me or anyone else has ever seen.
Goes by the name of Heisenberg.
Hm. Yeah. Pretty weird, huh?
I looked him up. It was one of these physio... one of Hitler's guys.
You know, a physicist named Werner Heisenberg. Heh, heh. Real cute, huh?
I figure with a handle like that, my guy's gotta be some sort of...
Some sort of an egghead. No offence.
And here we go. Gale "major Tom" boetticher.
Anyway, I just wanna see if I'm, you know,
not barking up the wrong tree, chemically speaking.
As far as I can make out, he's writing about a phenylacetone cook, right?
Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty rare these days,
but it does jibe with the blue stuff I've been tracking.
"Two sticks dairy-free soy margarine, two-third cup turbinado sugar."
It's a recipe for vegan s'mores. Heh. There's all kinds of crazy crap in there.
Yeah, like, you know, top-ten recumbent bicycles,
indoor composting tips.
All right next to the mother of methamphetamine syntheses.
This guy was a, uh... Man, he was a real character.
Yeah, he seems unique.
Yeah. Let me show you something. Give it here.
Right here at the, uh... Right here at the top it says:
"To w.W. My star, my perfect silence." Heh.
W.w. Heh, heh, heh.
I mean, who do you figure that is, huh?
Woodrow Wilson?
Willy wonka?
Walter white?
You got me.
W.w. Hm.
Wait a minute. Let me see this...
For a second, because I think I remembered...
Ah. Here.
Yes.
Yeah.
"When I heard the learn'd astronomer."
Learned.
And from time to time look'd up in perfect silence at the stars
it's a poem by Walt Whitman.
Your w.W.
You freaking brainiac.
Ha. You freaking brainiac.
I must have skipped that day in school or something. Heh, heh.
I been chasing my tail about that one. Bet you're right.
Well, I'm glad I could be of help. Yeah.
Walt Whitman. Huh.
So you think this Gale person is your Heisenberg?
Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
God, I wanted to get this guy.
It looks like you did.
No, I mean, you know, me personally, you know?
I wanted to be the one to slap the handcuffs on him, that kind of shit.
Popeye Doyle waving to frog one.
If I recall, at least from the first French connection,
popeye Doyle never actually caught him.
Yeah, I guess me and old popeye, huh?
Day late and a dollar short.
What about the person who killed him?
A.p.d.'s problem, not mine.
Any leads? My buddy Tim says
they got some fingerprints they're trying to ID.
Eyewitness saw a person of interest. Might get lucky there.
Somebody knows something. They'll track the shooter eventually.
Jesse!
J“ admission of the faithfully shaken now trapped j“
j“ thirty thousand and dropping it's on and popping at last j“
j“ keep me in the sky that's all that I cry j“
j“ I'll become your servant if it's worth your time j“
j“ keep me in the sky that's all that I 7! Say j“
j“ I'll become your soldier j“
j“ at least for this day j“ j“noj“
j“ there are no atheists in the foxholes j“
j“noj“ j“ there is no intellect in the air j“
Jesse.
Jesse: What's up?
J“ just a working example of faith versus physics j“
j“ flyentology j“ j“ oh, god j“
j“ everybody get your ticket today flyentology j“
Walt: I need to talk to you.
Jesse: Okay.
J“ flyentology flyen... flyentology j“j“
now.
Go ahead.
Would you stop doing what you're doing, please?
I'm not done, yo. And that dude's next.
What the hell? What is wrong...? We have business to discuss.
So discuss. Jesus.
Let go of me.
Gale's murder is being investigated.
Uh, duh.
And I have it on good authority that they found fingerprints at the scene.
Not mine.
We done here? No, we are not done here.
What if they are yours? How can you be so sure?
Because I'm here. Your brother-in-law's got such a hard-on for me,
if the cops found my fingerprints... Shh.
If the cops found my prints within five blocks of that place,
they would've picked me up by now.
What about the casing?
Oh, my god. Or casings?
How many times did you shoot him, anyway?
Jesse, did you pick up the casings?
Did you pick them up?
No.
Yeah, well...
Listen, we gotta go over this step-by-step, everything.
Tell me exactly what happened from the moment you got there.
I got in, I got out. No.
No, I need to know specifics. Now, we'll start from the beginning.
You drove there. You drove over there. You went to his door, right?
Jesse, I need you to concentrate.
This is very important. Did you knock or ring?
Knock or ring? Unh!
Knock.
Good, good. That's very good. Now, listen.
Assume that Gale answered the door. What happened after that?
Did he recognise you?
Did you say anything to each other?
Did you walk into the room or did you shoot him right then and there?
What?
Who wants to make a hundred bucks? Man: Yeah.
Huh?
Saul: Look, the kid's probably right.
If they had anything on him, he'd be locked up already.
What about my brother-in-law? He suspects Jess...
Hell, he knows Jesse is involved in the sale of blue meth.
That was Hank's one-and-only lead. What if he puts two and two together
and he goes after Jesse for the murder?
Goes after him how, on his rascal scooter? Ha, ha.
Ahem. That perhaps sounded insensitive. Uh...
But if he goes after him, I'll sue his ass for police brutality,
harassment, assault and 16 other things.
No, history those two have together, being what it is,
gotta figure your brother-in-law's smart enough not to go down that road.
Goose egg. Bubkes. That's what the cops got.
Ugh. I wouldn't worry about it.
Yeah, what else should I not worry about, Saul? Hm?
Should I not worry that Gus plans to murder me at the first chance he gets?
That my drug-addicted partner doesn't seem to care whether he lives or dies?
You should see his house. It's like skid row.
He has actual hobos living there.
Now, how long before Gus decides that he's too big of a risk?
Jeez, I got Mike, that grunting, dead-eyed cretin
sucker-punching me in the face. I've got Gus wielding a box cutter.
I mean, western union, message received.
Let me ask you. When did this stop being a business? Hm?
Why am I the only person capable of behaving in a professional manner?
No, any way you slice it, everyone is in danger.
I mean, how can I protect anyone?
My family, Jesse, myself?
My name never comes up with those guys, does it?
And meanwhile, we're buying this stupid car wash.
Oh, yeah. That ship has sailed, bon voyage.
We are committed.
We already told our family about it.
And now Skyler, I'm sure she believes...
She needs to believe that everything is neat and tidy.
And she's telling herself that I work in this nice, quiet little lab
with a white lab coat and a pocket protector
and when my contract is up, I'll just simply hang it all up,
tip my hat and walk away.
Oh, god.
How did everything get so screwed up?
Yeah, you do have a little shit-creek action happening.
You know, fyi, you can buy a paddle.
This is a last-resort, back-pocket kind of thing,
but if you really gotta protect yourself, uh,
disappear...
Poof
poof
there's a guy who can make it happen.
They call him a, uh, "dissapearer."
For a substantial fee, and I do mean substantial,
you and your loved ones can vanish. Untraceable.
I mean, he sets you up with a whole new life.
What, like a witness protection kind of thing?
Beyond. I mean, off the grid.
New identities, new everything. No one would ever be able to trace you.
Now, be clear. This is an end game, if you get my meaning.
I mean, there's no coming back.
So you want his card?
God, there's gotta be something else that I can do.
Some way to keep everything from spiralling out of control.
Well, from what you told me,
it sounds like Pinkman is first up in the imminent-demise department.
Gus won't risk letting the police find Jesse.
I know him. He won't.
Sketchy: I'm not kidding. If you really think about it, you can't even see it.
How can you know how bad radio frequencies, microwaves,
and cell phones are getting you?
You could be strolling through security at the airport...
Hey, wake up, bitches.
Sketchy: You get waved through a X-ray scanner.
Next day, you could be dead or dying from all the radiation they say is safe.
But there's no way it could be. It has to deliver a concentrated dose.
Enough to penetrate clothes.
The accumulated amount could be dangerous to susceptible individuals,
especially from a rural area. Hey, yo.
Sketchy: The ozone layer is already thin because of the cow farts.
Yo!
Oh, hey.
Make sure there's pizza here when I get back.
All right? Enough for everybody. Oh. Oh, yeah.
I can do that. I can definitely do that.
Not a problem. I can get the stuff, the pizza and stuff.
But as far as the financial situation, you know...
Just hang on. Hang on. Yeah, yeah.
And you know, the concentrated doses,
it's gonna fuck with your bone marrow and it's gonna mess up...
Because... because especially if you have cancer.
You know, because if you gotta get a bone-marrow transplant,
your odds are 60 percent. You got a 60 percent chan...
Hey.
Sketchy: Oh.
Jesse: Hey, hey huh?
Get some dipping sticks too, yo.
Yeah, I can definitely get dipping sticks.
All right. I can get them.
J“ 808, 808, 808, 808 j“
J“ 808 boom and an 808 bap j“
j“ 808 kick drum, kick drum, hat j“
j“ 808 snare drum, snare drum, clap j“
j“ got an 808 this and a-this and a-that j“
j“ got an 808 boom and an 808 bap j“
j“ 808, 808, 808, 808 j“
hey, smoke it up, bitches.
J“ 808 n“
Man: Gotcha!
Man: Wake up.
Wake up.
What's up?
What's up with your ear?
Downstairs. Now.
Where is everybody?
I invited your guests toleave.
Know who this is?
Nope. You ought to.
He's been at your house for three solid days.
Okay.
He stole your money.
Okay.
That $78,000 or so look familiar?
This is it? That's it.
Jesse: Okay. Thanks.
Wanna know what's next for little miss pissed-in-his-pants?
No. You sure, now?
Jesse: Yep. Don't even wanna take a wild guess?
You're gonna kill him.
Is this the part where I'm supposed to beg you not to do it?
Oh, please, please.
And then what?
I'm supposed to promise, cross my heart,
to straighten up and fly right or toe the line,
or some other crap that I'm not gonna say?
Is that what your little show here was all about?
You're on thin ice, you little shithead. You know that?
You ain't gonna smoke that dude in there.
You know how come I know?
Because you went through the trouble of putting a blindfold on him.
I'm going back to bed.
Let yourselves out.
Gus: I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
How's the ear? Mending.
What can I do for you?
It's Pinkman.
He's become increasingly incautious.
He's a risk. A liability.
I know he and Walter come as a team and that Walter won't like it,
but something's gotta be done.
You gotta be kidding.
Jesse: Hey, it's me. Wait for the thing.
Right. This is message number three.
You'd better be ready in two minutes, because I am right outside your door.
Jesse!
Damn it.
Jesse: Hey, it's me. Wait for the thing.
Oh, great.
Jesse!
Oh. This is perfect.
You are a piece of work, you know that?
Jesse?
Jesse.
Jesse?
Jesse: Hey, it's me. Wait for the thing.
Where is he?
Gonna ask where we're going?
Nope.